How Much Does Happiness Weigh?

Well, of course it's different for each person. But most of the time I can guage my happiness by how well I'm eating and how active I am, which all boils down to how much I weigh. At my most unhappy, just after my separation, I weighed 42kg, spent most of my time moping or watching Buffy, and was subsisting on a diet of Granny Smith apples and BBQ shapes (not a proper diet per se in that I wanted to lose weight, just that I didn't have the appetite or inclination to eat anything else).

Fast forward to the middle of 2006 when I was on the verge of burning out (plagued by too much work and play, without the time to enjoy the good food I was eating) I weighed 44kg and was only marginally healthier psychologically. I was surviving, but I wasn't thriving.

Since throwing a conventional life away in exchange for one of relative poverty and lack of career prospects, I am now moderately active, savouring food on a regular basis (I admit, living in a country of foodies helps) and hovering between 45kg and 46kg. So, for me, happiness weighs about 1.5kg.

Note, though, that too much happiness can weigh you down -- for example, if I am too idle and enjoy my food immoderately, I start to feel lethargic and bloated at 48kg.

It's a pretty narrow margin of error that I allow myself, I know this, and for people who struggle all their lives against pudginess, I'm sure I seem quite vain and neurotic. It's ok. I am.

Jérémy Laffon

Artwork by Jérémy Laffon

Spent most of the weekend in my pjs and unconscious with a cold, but managed to drag myself out of the house for an hour on Sunday arvo to get a glimpse of an art exhibition by Jérémy Laffon. While I didn't find it offensive, it didn't especially tickle my fancy either, but in any case, it was really nice to be an adult for a little while, away from pouts, feeding and demands for attention.

My Legitimate Hair Cut

Most of the time I make a fairly good pretense of not being overly vain. I don't wear jewellery or make up, I don't have a vast wardrobe of pretty but unfunctional clothing, I don't spend hours poring over beauty magazines or jealously wishing I looked like [insert celebrity name here]. Most of the time, I don't even brush my hair. (Before you get the wrong idea about me, I DO take a shower and brush my teeth every day. Lack of vanity is one thing, a good thing. Lack of hygiene is another, very bad, thing.)

However, I'm vain enough to worry like the buggery about getting my hair cut in a foreign country where I'm not overly savvy with the language and there's a possibility of a hirstute massacre. But, looking at my list of places I'm going to visit in the next 6 months, it was going to have to be a hair cut in France or nowhere. And at least I speak a bit of French. I know how to say, "stop! stop!" and "what have you done to my hair??!!" I could only imagine with dread going through the same exercise in a country where I don't know the language at all.

Luckily, when I got my hair cut today, there was another girl in the salon who had something that approximated what I wanted, so I was let off the hook for having to express myself clearly, I could just point and say, like hers, only shorter. Woohoo!!

Sweeney Todd Movie

Image courtesy of www.palmbeachpost.com

I'm actually kind of excited about this movie. Sondheim is a god of musicals, Tim Burton's visual style suits the dark and gory nature of the plot and I admire the acting skills of Johnny Depp, Alan Rickman and Helena Bonham Carter (though I wonder about their singing). Guess where I'll be going this Christmas!!

Lorgues

Well I finally got my phone out and took some photos around town =)

Illium by Dan Simmons

Image of book cover courtesy of www.amazon.co.uk

This is the book I'm reading at the moment. It's a postmodern interweaving/retelling of the battle Troy and the Tempest wrapped up in science fiction, with a bit of comparitive analysis between Shakespeare and Proust thrown in for good measure.

The interesting thing is, I'm reading it in French. It's taking bloody AGES. Understandably. But, even more interesting, is that I'm loving it. Usually I don't truly read, I just skim, and if the plot is pedestrian or predictable (as is the case more often than not these days) I thumb through chapters looking for the significant paragraphs or just skip right to the end. (And sadly, I always understand exactly what has happened, even though I'm cheating. This is what I get for loving to read as a child -- oversaturation, boredom, disappointment).

But reading in French, I have to read EVERY word, otherwise I don't understand a thing. It's put the reading back into reading a book for me. The hours while away and I'm lost in a book, just brilliant!

It helps that Dan Simmons is one of my favourite authors. He doesn't just invent new worlds, he reinvents the old ones but makes them appear new, all the while hiding various enigmatic clues from the past. (All this time I thought I was bored with reading but maybe I was just bored with mediocre books).

Random Thoughts

No good deed is ever entirely altruistic.

I find the writing of Oscar Wilde absolutely charming, though I am sure that the man himself would have been completely insufferable.

Why is it that parents have children in the first place but seem so pleased if they don't have to deal with them?

Anyone who signs up for remaking a classic is really in for a hard time. They've got to be at least twice as good as the original to convince that they're even halfway decent.

We're all in the gutter, with some of us are looking at the stars (to quote Wilde) and some more of us are looking at those looking at the stars.

What an utter waste youth is, because one rarely has enough experience realise how much you can enjoy yourself.

If I were to get everything I ever wanted, I would just want something else.

Internet Infidels

Spent a really intriguing couple of hours last night on the Internet Infidels Forum -- a great little reading spot for philosophically minded agnostics and aetheists, in particular the
Formal Debate on the statement, "Pedophilia is misunderstood by society." While the opening statement of the debate was disappointingly structured and argued, the responses from onlookers in thePeanut Gallery was quite interesting and it was encouraging that there were some really well thought out posts there.

Sunrise

I am not a morning person. Mornings generally find me snugged up in bed trying to steal a few more minutes of sleep or meandering around sourly like a zombie. Except for yesterday, when I woke up inexplicably at 5:30am and could not for the life of me get back to sleep. After a futile hour of nonsleep, I decided the very least I could do with my wakefulness is watch the sunrise from the Hermitage Saint Ferréol, which is high on a hill just outside of Lorgues.

Imagine my chagrin, after walking out of town and then making my way up the rocky hillside, to find that the sun was rising just as I arrived but some freaking trees were in the way!! On top of that, after seeing the sky lighten considerably but no flaming ball of gas emerge over the horizon, I walked back down the long way (it took me two hours to go up and back) and was shattered for the rest of the day from no sleep and too much exercise...



Image courtesy of www.flickr.com

Killer Chocolate Brownie Recipe

I tried this recipe from Nigel Slater (http://observer.guardian.co.uk/magazine/story/0,,1235755,00.html) the other day and just about thought I had died and gone to a chocolatey heaven.

No nuts, no flavourings, just a 24-carat brownie as dense and fudgy as Glastonbury mud. Whatever else you add is up to you. Serves 12 (or two with the munchies).

300g golden caster sugar
250g butter
250g chocolate (70 per cent cocoa solids)
3 large eggs plus 1 extra egg yolk
60g flour
60g finest quality cocoa powder
1 tsp baking powder

You will need a baking tin, about 23cm x 23cm, preferably non-stick, or a small roasting tin.

Set the oven at 180°C/Gas 4. Line the bottom of the baking tin with baking parchment. Put the sugar and butter into the bowl of a food mixer and beat for several minutes till white and fluffy. You can do it by hand if you wish, but you need to keep going until the mixture is really soft and creamy.

Meanwhile, break the chocolate into pieces, set 50g of it aside and melt the rest in a bowl suspended over, but not touching, a pan of simmering water. As soon as the chocolate has melted remove it from the heat. Chop the remaining 50g into gravel-sized pieces.

Break the eggs into a small bowl and beat them lightly with a fork. Sift together the flour, cocoa and baking powder and mix in a pinch of salt. With the food mixer running slowly, introduce the beaten egg a little at a time, speeding up in between additions. Remove the bowl from the mixer to the work surface, then mix in the melted and the chopped chocolate with a large metal spoon. Lastly, fold in the flour and cocoa, gently and firmly, without knocking any of the air out. Scrape the mixture into the prepared cake tin, smooth the top and bake for 30 minutes. The top will have risen slightly and the cake will appear slightly softer in the middle than around the edges.Pierce the centre of the cake with a fork - it should come out sticky, but not with raw mixture attached to it. If it does, then return the brownie to the oven for three more minutes. It is worth remembering that it will solidify a little on cooling, so if it appears a bit wet, don't worry.