A Rant

How hard is it to take a step back and see the ways in which one's behaviour has contributed to the current situation and then take measure to rectify one's behaviour and hence the situation? If I'm to judge by watching Baptiste's parents, it's the hardest freaking thing in the world.

The baby is going through (yet another) difficult-to-get-to-sleep phase. It consists of fake crying at bedtime, calling out for mum and dad from his bed (and they answer, they actually answer him, thus engaging him in quasi-conversation and prolonging his sleepnessnes. Stupid.), and more crying (eventually real after the parents get frustrated and scold him for not sleeping).

It only happens when his mum or dad put him to bed at night. By day, when he's with me, he goes down for his nap like a very good boy and without a word. I could be charitable and attribute this difference in behaviour to the night, but last night it was me who put him to bed and he made hardly a peep. I'm really surprised his parents haven't cottoned onto his ruses yet. No wonder he's always so naughty with them -- you get what you're willing to put up with.

I think the secret is not to coddle him. The more one coddles, the more he knows he can get away with murder. His parents coddle him. His grandparents coddle him. It seems sometimes as if everyone coddles him except me. And then they have the idocy to say things like, "He only ever listens to Eugenie." Hello!! Wake up!!

Having done all I can possibly do, short of telling the parents how ineffective their parenting is (which I'm not going to do because it's a) rude, b) preachy and c) not condusive to any actual change for the better), my only other recourse is to wear earplugs, have a couple glasses of whiskey and wait until tomorrow. By then, by dint of some miracle (the miracle being me consistently punishing the child if he is naughty and rewarding him when he is good) he will have metamorphosed into someone completely different, a child who is helpful and obedient, albeit clingy at times and often unable to play independently.

Until 6pm, when his parents come home, and he starts to whine, refuse to eat his dinner, fake cry and generally touch all the forbidden things in which he seems to have no interest during the day. And they will react passive-aggressively and the whole cycle will start over. Woo fucking hoo.

End of rant.

Postscript: It's possible that in some twisted way, they actually like when he's naughty. When he's naughty he doesn't do what he should, and instead cries and wants to be cuddled. I can see how in some twisted way, a disobedient but affectionate child could be quite good for the ego, one could say, "He loves and misses me so much, that he acts like this."

At least, one could say it for the first half hour or so. After two or three hours of it, when one has to go to work in the morning, all that neediness suddenly isn't so great and one snaps and yells, "BAPTISTE! THAT'S ENOUGH!! EVERY NIGHT YOU MAKE SUCH A FUSS!!" [cue crying, or intensified crying from child].

A firm "No. Naughty. Bedtime," within the first two minutes of this bollocks would have nipped it in the bud. Of course, the catch is, the firm and swift command has to be backed up by other firm and swift commands when with the child at any time, and all of THAT has to be backed up by consistent positive and negative reinforcement, all of which is a lot of work, when really, humanity as a whole is just a bunch of lazy gits.

The funny thing is, doing it my way actually works out to be LESS work in the long run. A little bit of consistency is SO much easier than having to deal with his tantrums or, worse (yet exactly what Baptiste's parents do), having to throw tantrums of my own in the hopes of eventual obedience.